Reviews for Spinning In a Whirlpool

Reviews For: Spinning In a Whirlpool

kaika switched 2004-03-05 ch 6,	Nice work...I hope you'll be adding more soon, about how nothing is going to be the same, and all. Keep writing!
Alani Lin 2004-02-17 ch 6,	Rawr. Nice writing. Me like. Keep it up!
Sallymander 2004-02-14 ch 6,	Short...but really great! What did her dad do anyway?
Agathy 2004-02-13 ch 6,	This is SO SHORT...although I shouldn't be talking, lol. But thanks for introducing us to Stan. You know, while I was reading this chapter, I thought back to the very beginning of my novel...where the protagonist's father comes to pick her up from the juvenile hall. Yeah, anyway, enough about that, it's making me sad (I still gotta rewrite those 82 pages!). I'm glad you FINALLY updated...now you have to write the next chapter...come on! I want to see how Amila deals with it all =) All right, I hope you update soon!
kaika switched 2004-02-04 ch 5,	Not bad. Things happened sort of quick, but it didn't hurt the story, or the plot. I hope more is explained in chapter six. Great work!
Alani Lin 2003-12-22 ch 5,	Not bad, I liked the writing. Thrillers are my favorite.
Agathy 2003-12-22 ch 5,	How brave of Amila! Stealing the hanger and concealing it was a good idea. Anyway, I hope you tell us what her father did in Chapter Six. Please update soon!
Agathy 2003-12-07 ch 4,	Wow, scary. This should be in the Thriller category, because Ferris and Ray send thrills up my spine. I wonder what Amila's dad did...hm...update soon...and good chapter btw.
Agathy 2003-11-25 ch 3,	Whoa. I wonder what happened to Felicia. Very exciting, very fast-paced. Good chapter and I'll be waiting for the next.
Alani Lin 2003-11-25 ch 3,	Holy dog poo. The suspense is killing me. Dang. I hope you update soon!
Agathy 2003-11-16 ch 2,	Very interesting. I like the whole literary present tense thing in the story; it keeps the story racing. I agree with Jen, it does move a bit fast (didn't you say the kidnapping would take place later in the story?). The characters are very precisely described. Damn, you got the age, race, color of skin and hair and eyes, AND build of body down. I like the story, though, it's half-funny, half-serious. Good storyline, too. My only suggestion is that you should make some of the characters something other than Caucasian- it's not a bad thing, it's just that some people like reading stories that either don't focus on race or involve people of different races. (That's probably what you were goint to do anyway.) After all, your target audience will most likely be made up of all sorts of races that probably want some representation in the story. Good job, though, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Alani Lin 2003-11-16 ch 2,	Great writing! I think it goes a little fast, but still overall pretty good. "It is El Segundo. El Segundo is incredibly safe; police sirens seldom sound." That made me crack up. It's true! Good chapter, and good writing so far. Keep it up.

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