Wow, it's beautiful...

Wow. I like it. There's death, but there's also life. It truly would make a good story. Maybe you should try it.

Normally I don't like poems that rhyme. However, there is a really good story in this and great imagery. Very nice.

wow, that was awesome, was it like a baby and abortian? i love it, it was kinda dark, but had hope, and it was just awesome.keep writing,Turtle

P.S. thanks a ton for the R&R yeah, i was thinking of showing how it was kinda in the future, and i decided to use music and cars. what do you mean plane english? yeah, kiyura is pretty cool, you should read legacy of jzitusia if you like this, it's the same series

Heh - very cool. I love horror poetry; it's so much fun! I like the first stanza especially: The rhyming is good. ^^
Tenika Dargan

wow, beautifully written but so horrific and tradgic, love it!

Great flow on this, and you did a good job on the rhyming! But I felt that the ending was a bit abrupt. Maybe it's just me, though. Keep writin'.

I loved it!
This is going on favorite list!

Oh. I absolutely adore the opening line. And the second. This would make a great story! Little boy saves the world! I mean, I know that's the premise of every fantasy story out there, but this would be very cool! Either way, great poem.
~winged one~