FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| gatepost 2005-03-08 ch 1,  | abuseNice writing.umm . . "dead grandmother's funeral"? get rid of dead, superfluous. "felt like scfreaming, or maybe sleeping". this is a bit mucked up, you need some sort of, oh i don't know, a transitional? sentence? some more about screaming and then a new paragraph and then on to tiredness. p[rob better. confusing otherwise. Other than that . . i really like the characters, they really come through. Fantastic writing. I'd like to see where this goes, so please update. |
| SleepDontWeep 2005-03-08 ch 1, | abusethis is so full of emotion... its scary... u describe everythin so well... and d atmosphere of a funeral is so well captured and the uncertainty of emotion.. i duno i just think this a wonderful emotion provoking piece! WELL DONE! love and admiration Gretchen45 x plz o plz review my story 'TRuly madly deeply' as itd mean so much to me! tanx love ya x |
| Sylver-Ajah 2003-11-23 ch 1, | abuseI wasn't going to actually leave a review, because I wasn't sure what I would say. This left me wondering as most of your stuff usually does. That's for sure. But I have to ask; and sorry if it seems offending - is any of this true? -Sylver-Ajah |
| Hexic 2003-11-23 ch 1, | abusevery well written. The description is very well thought out. Story takes place in the past doesn't it? The names, along with the way they talk suggests that; but i could be wrong. Could you please review my stories? please! |
| tawnyfawn 2003-11-23 ch 1, anon. | abuseoh my gosh! this was so good! it was really well written and really sad... What I don't know though is this going to be a chapter story or is it a short story? Oh well, it was really good and keep up the excellent writing! from tawnyfawn |
| angelica 2003-11-23 ch 1, anon. | abuseinteresting... I'll read on this intrigues me and leaves me wondering... |