It helps alot that you explained your motive for writing it before sharing it... makes the poem that much more meaningfull. I don't think you suck at poetry... trust me that one line from Crimson Battlefield was a poem in itself. In this poem you just sort of wrote very bluntly what you were feeling. If you express your feelings in a poem such as this, with the smooth, inspiring wording and phrasing like you did in Crimson Battlefield I know you'll blow my mind... I really hope you don't take me as a cruel critic, I think you are a great writer. Ok, happy to review you. I really do wish your other stories were shorter because I want to read them but I am scared when I read that they are more than 10 words. Ok review me back and I will see what I can do.

a fantastic poem! so expressive!