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Reviews For: Why
soupjoker 2003-12-16 . chapter 1
Damn. I loved that. I wish you would do a pov from Tobias to see how he reacted; that would be really interesting
I LOVE IT! This was soo-o-oo-o-oo good! I LOVED IT! (again)
me
LittleLauren 2003-12-01 . chapter 1
I really liked this, the stuff addressed was fascinating and I was touched by the feeling put into it. Here are my suggestions though. (If you ever get fed up with my... constructive criticism, let me know!)
Little technical things: I don't think a med. student could carry the title M.D. yet. I think they would have to obtain the degree first. Also, your kid was 13 in the first line, and then a minute later he was 14. Twice you mispelled "disease". Lastly, I don't think it's possible to read "everything there is to know about it" in that short a time-span. You'd need months, years, to pull that off. OOps, that wasn't last... Try to avoid using "etc" when talking about something as emotional as a theraputic outlet. That didn't quite flow. Lastly (for real this time) I think the mother would probably respond much more strongly when told that her son has schizophrenia. That's not exactly an, "Oh darn, he's got a cold, what'll make him feel better?" kind of issue.
Well, I said my piece. Hope that can be of use somehow... Ah yes, don't be offended when I have a lot to say. It doesn't mean there's mass stuff wrong with your story or I didn't like it. Just stuff I notice and think worthwhile to point out. :)
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