Very, very well written. I'm impressed. Love the Asian woman, but I always do. This sounds like it would turn out to be an interesting story. Coming out with a chapter anytime soon (or a book for that matter)?
If anything could be worked on it would be to suck the reader in tighter. Get them caught better, and they won't let go.
But like I was implying, it's an amazing work.

Wow... this story really strikes something deep in side. Like a warning to the so-called great advances in technologies that man has made.

Wow! This is great! I am looking forward to reading more of this.