i've read this before... oh yeah it was in your binder. haha it's fun keep it up and BREAK IS ALMOST HERE! yay!
-mo

Thanks for pointing out the spelling error- I am queen of typos (I don't actually spell like a moron) but you have one of your own *pst*summary*pst*
Anyway pretty good, but my major suggestion would be to find an alternative to using "charlie" all the time. The pacing is also a little bouncy and needs to be more consistant with how it progresses, but it is otherwise pretty good!

Woa.. what a twist of plot. It's good but one thing- you did add much more detail in the beginning than the end, so keep it consistant. I like the plot and stuff though- what was witht the man selling bread? hm...