Wow, awesome job. I really loved your metaphors and how you made the character feel alive. I actually felt like reading more once you ended it. You sort of ended very abruptly though and that sort lost the feeling of the whole story, but great job with descriptions and incorporating wit and humor into your sentences. The transition between the dad going away and falling into the ice was sort of quick also. Maybe you can create a whole story out of this one, it seems like a good plot to build up on.

Clever, and different from most of your works, if I've heard enough of your works to judge (which I might not have). Much darker. I like it immensely. Good job.

Very well written. I think I've read this before, lol. Well anyways I like the tone of it, its an unusual one for you but I like it. Anywyas club was fun today! and I swear I'll really try to make it to another one soon!!
Well I'm out, later
Alex

This was great! It was just very well written, so much so that I won't even nitpick. Nice one, Em.