this is awesome i like the style

Wow, this is...amazing.

This is beatiful prose. I would just like to write that I didn't start reading this for beatiful prose, I wanted a good story. The last sentence I read was, "To the whereabouts that it become from them in the eyes of those staring on from darkness as where they begin;"I'm really sorry but I just didn't get into the story with all the poetry. It was extraordinary poetry (I must say that you are an extraordinary writer, but it was poetry not a story) but I grew bored, quickly. And i want to say I don't mean to offend, please don't take it that way, because this sentence is genius, "In them, which the sleep becomes, the dreams that would stir within the rest of the body would follow." It is simply brilliant. Damn, I hate to review. But, I think you could be something special with the right direction, not to mean mine. Good writing sir, hope to see more.RJ Miller

I know this is an older story, but I'll review it. Ok...yeah some tips here. Spaces between paragraphs work great, easier to read. And then the issue of the matter at hand. You said it's taken from a dream, and it does seem awful dark in a trippy manner, your signature style no doubt. Still, it's a repetetive thing, and may have worked best if summed up a bit shorter. Like, started off with the intro explaining you were sick then go into the weird dreams and such. "Telling of them as the shadow which I describe as the shape of a raven as it is perched from the hotel that I slept in" nice wording there vy the way.

did you...take down my review? you know, i think you did! so...i'm the 'lesbo **' (once again, btw, i'm not a lesbian), and you're the one taking down perfectly legitimate reviews to your work...right then. glad we got that straightened out. so i'll post it here again, as people have every right to know what i think of your work and the side of yourself you choose to present to fp.n. you shouldn't be here if you can't take some well-deserved criticism. can't take the heat, get out of the goddamned kitchen. so here it is again:

"okay, first i need to say this:you. CANNOT. write. effectively.

i'm sorry, would you mind explaining to me what the HELL the first sentence was intended to be?! i'll perhaps read the rest after i can wade through the mess of...whatever the hell you call that crap. un-**-believable. and yes, i swear. deal. i'll try to read some of your other stuff...though i just read 'the fanfic writer' (never been more insulted in my life, btw) and absolutely could not stand the writing. you need a beta-reader rather badly. better yet, you need to learn how to write.

ok...now to comment on your bio. my general impression is this: GOOD GOD, MAN! where/who/what the hell do you think you are?? fp.n is NOT a place where people come to brag, it is not a place to talk endlessly about yourself, it is not a place to insult others as if you are better than them...let me assure you, you're not. i mean, my god, a PICTURE of yourself!! you're probably (read: hopefully) the only one to EVER have sunk that low! and a bio is NOT MEANT TO BE SO GODDAMNED LONG!! you should not be here to brag about what you've been paid for or which clubs you have undeserving memberships of. nobody gives a **. you say you've been compared to all those writers...again, who gives?? you're only displaying your overblown ego here. and i didn't know there were so many OTHER published writers who sucked so badly! they'd have to, if they were like you...

oh god...i just visited your website. i can't believe you've been writing for over 14 years...and you're still writing like a 5-year-old. are you one of those people that thinks they're smart, simply because they have large vocabularies? big ** deal. so you can parrot, except for the fact that you have no sense of grammar. and your site is unbelievably poorly formatted. i could do a better job, and i barely know how a computer works.

you also need an ego deflation. i'll perform it now, for free, considering the desperate need. so you write...so ** what? guess what...SO DO I!! and i'm fifteen years old, and i'm part of a writing group of other 14-to-16-year-olds, and WE ALL WRITE BETTER THAN YOU DO! so does the majority of the child-and-teenage population! tolerance can do a great deal to improve someone's writing, you know. you should try it. the punctuation errors...GODS, THE PUNCTUATION ERRORS!! SAVE ME!

i must, however, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for you have never (at least, not that i saw) referred to what you do as 'art'. thank you ever so much for proving that there is sanity left in the world.

so with that said, i am off to r&r your other works, if i can bear it! funfun! note the sarcasm...i shall be sure to add you to my author alerts and favourite authors, as well as emailing your link to all my friends, and we shall dance and laugh and flame, and you shall burn in your own personal, self-constructed hell!

with as much love as you deserve,she-who-is-half-your-age-and-has-infinitely-more-talent

p.s. please feel free to email me with any comments at all, there's plenty more ranting to be done...i just can't remember it all right now, as the insipid drivel you insist on referring to as 'literature' has seeped into my brain and is slowly corroding it from the inside. you know, you really have a 'knack' for first sentences of a piece! they leave an impression, alright...who the hell uses the word 'vast' TWICE in the same sentence?"

and there is my review. no need to thank me, just doing my job. and i'll KEEP doing it as long as you see fit to take it down. i worked ** that review, and i do NOT take kindly to being snubbed in such a manner.

but hey, at least i got a chance to fix my spelling mistakes!

ta!

very well written...you absolutely wrote there your emotions...wonderful work!
thanks for the kind review by the way... :>

Detail is once again outstanding. I'm glad I read this. Your current work shows how much you improved, though your work has always fascinated me from the very first piece posted here. Nice job. ~I.W.

Here's my pledge to you, Nicky: each time you take down the review I leave for your story, I will return the following day and post it again. Either gain control of Fictionpress and ban reviews, or be prepared to spend a lot of time taking down reviews that don't praise your collection of misspelled words. Here's my review: this was terrible. Learn to spell first, then learn how to write. Hope that helps!

good description and insight. i like this, in a way that its not a real story, but its a story. it was very interesting. thanks for the reviews. just 1 thing - can you send me some info on JM Heluk? o, and i finished FLIES. The ending isn't very funny.

I found it somewhat odd, but in a way disturbing. I haven't read any Lovecraft in a while, but it seems like you're style of writing is somewhat like his. Good job.
P.S.: Sorry for the delay, but I'll be checking a few more out soon.

Hello-
This is excellent. I really like the imagery, and descriptions. Your detail was great.
You did a really good job on this. Disturbingly well done. Keep up the good work!
Whispers In Silence

Wow! That's a very interesting story. You seem to know how to make it feel just like you would want. It's very deep and I look forward to more of your work!