I know exactly what you're talking about, and you describe the emotion extremely well. I especially love lines like "I memorized the pattern, and now it rearranges." You have a gift for accurately describing emotion.

Wow! this was so good! my favourite parts were when you wrote 'I was just born, and i've already begun to die' and when you rhymed changes with re-arranges...very clever. please RR my work if you get the chance...i need dome reviews! thank you!
chloe