I'll remember that. Loved this.

Hilarious!Salmon awoke to the smell of Billiam--haha!

Hah. Funny. "This is what I did last summer." LMAO. Horrid line, that's quite true...

Hey, not all of these are bad opening lines. I would read the novels if they started with the following lines:
"Billiam woke up with an awful hangover; he scratched his nether regions and tried to recall where he had left his pants"
"Billiam awoke in a cold gutter, the flashing lights of Vegas shining brightly onto his plaid wedding dress; he knew then that the previous night had been an awful mistake."
"Billiam hates penguins"
So there. ^_^

a little disturbing. some funny. i lke "once upon a time". very traditional starter.

...O.O OMFG. That was hilarious.
My favorite line was,
"Salmon awoke to the smell of Billiam".
Can't wait for the sequal. ;)

Some cool, some not cool. Some funny, some disturbing...
Sounds like one of those funny e-mails that get circulated around the whole world.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I like it! wtf is up with billiam and salmon?? hm... did chelsea really slap you? i thought the slapping of slovy was reserved for moi! (hehe) yes yes this is a good list, especially cuz i always seem to think of GOOD lines to begin stories... maybe i will make a list of those. but this is funnier. hehehe good job

Oh...My...God.
I read this in class, and I thought I was going to pee my pants because I had to keep myself from laughing aloud. (Well, I didn't HAVE to. They could just all look at my like I'm crazy, etc.)
But anyways, excellent list. I must keep these lines in mind.
Hanakin:D

haha..amusing. ^_^

Billiam is cool. (in a totally freakshow sort of way)
So are you. (in a cool way totally opposite to billiam.)
I guess you guys could be friends.
peaces.
(really good. actually made me laugh out loud. :) thanks.)

lol funny

heeheehee! brilliant! maybe you could do a sequal and call it "Things NEVER to say when you crash a wedding" (don't ask where that came from) and say things like "No! You can't marry him! What about last night!"

VERY FUNNY!I very much like this. other chappys could be:
things NEVER to say as a pick up line
things NEVER to say before a fight
names NEVER to use as a screename.
*cRoNo*

Very funny, ^_^ some of these paint some... disturbing mental pictures, though I must say, I'd actually quite like to hear the rest of this novel:
"Billiam awoke in a cold gutter, the flashing lights of Vegas shining brightly onto his plaid wedding dress; he knew then that the previous night had been an awful mistake."