I just had to tell you that this story is wonderful. I can't imagine what your other stories are like if you think this one was not as good. I could not stop reading it. The characters were vivid and wonderful.
I can't wait to read the sequal.

The only thing I could fault is the number of characters. It was a little difficult to keep all the names straight.

Good start. I've gathered that when you wrote this you didn't find it to be your greatest work, but hey I liked it and I'm off to read the sequel SO THERE =)

“Think anyone will ever believe us?”

“Not a chance.”

“Two dead Snake Soldiers and not two moon cycles in between,” Jiro mused. “My friend, at this rate, you’ll turn into a blood-thirsty killer in no time.”

“My friend,” Jiro declared, clasping Brander’s shoulder, “We’re embarking on a great and noble quest which our foolish Conlen has so blindly devised. We –”

“I did not blindly devise it!”

“– shall travel far to reach our goal and encounter many dangers –”

“Jiro.”

“– but the ultimate prize of it all shall be for the glory –”

“Jiro!”

“– of all Garghan.” His tone abruptly changed and he added matter-of-fact, “Or we might just die a horrible, torture-induced death beneath the Serpentess’ fortress, never to have our names heard again.”

“Jiro!” Conlen snapped.

“Yes, Conlen?” the sandy-haired young man returned innocently.

“Don’t mock me.”

Jiro pretended shock. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Conlen glared.

“I really wouldn’t, Conlen,” Jiro’s voice was now sincere. “I was just teasing.”

“Of course,” Davyn drawled.

“I was!”

I like Jiro

I really liked this. I felt like I could see everything happening and when I went to school today I kept trying to come up with what would happen next. This really is an amazing story and I know that the second one will be just as good if not better. :3

very good...i can't wait to read the sequel!

No! lol NOT A DEAD END! *gaspgaspgasp!* i love this!

WOWZA! i love it! cant wait to continue hehe

Yay! I like it a lot. :)

wow. this is really good, the best part is that it is finished. i also read "Fear not the WOlves" that was my favorite but i do not feel you developed the characters enough. you have not given a description of them (if you have i have already forgotten it). Lupe seems lost but you should mention how strong he is. i am not sure if you did it on purpose but life in the wolf settlement seems serious. no one laughs. ANyway i loved both especcially Bryony, so write more ok. promise

Okies! Se you around! I gotta get going now...

Ooh! Chasiel's a special name in some way, then. In any way connected to the Serpentress's past? Maybe someone she once betrayed? Or someone she had to destroy in order ot gain her powers?

Very, very nice sword. Purdy. Now go kill the Serpentress!

Excellent chapter! Conlen's really starting to take control, no?

Goody, goody gumdrops. Got their armourers, and the berry bushes. Sucks what he Serpentress is palnning on doing... Bad lady, she is.Gryph

^_^ His keep. Very nice. Action in Hirk? Please?Gryph