|Reviews for The Book of the Ages|
| Iccle Fairy 8/30/07 . chapter 1
Interesting start...quite a long one, but good to set up the relationships and characters I guess. will be interested to see where this goes...
| Animating the Mourned 5/15/06 . chapter 2
The Introduction was a little rushed. I felt like you were craming tons and tons and years and years of information into a few paragraphs. But after the introduction your pace was flawless!You had many spelling mistakes, gramatical errors, and a general misuse of your review of my story you said you were a sucker for detail. It is impressive that you know that fact about yourself. Now, I'm not neccesarily the best at writing action scenes, and at times I found my self absorbed in some of yours, but the firm details you implemented in your fight pieces made me feel like I was reading an instruction characters are developed but Rick is all over the charts with his personality. Rick is an extrovert and Will is his foil and that always makes for an interesting story, but extroverts aren't always good leaders and they are not usually wise and free with such calculated advise like you've made Rick. I look forward to read what you write next. I want to see if you can bring something original to this generic plot and "off the wall" characters.
-mourn- ty for the advice on my story it will help me make it better. I hope you will reread and reveiw it when I fix it.
| Brandon 4/19/05 . chapter 1
keep this going dude , very good so far very good.
| Mystical-River 12/23/04 . chapter 1
Very suspenceful. Maybe it's just because I'm a girl, but I think Will and Rick's little escapade to talk to Nicole and Jenny was rather...pathetic. Anyway, I enjoy your writing style, there were some grammatical errors, but that's to be expected. I really like the story so far.
| kamui-kun 8/22/04 . chapter 1
Hey! I dunno if you know me but you submitted a review to my story and I'm now here to return the favor. ) Good work! You really do have a very keen eye in imagery and character development. The details of the places and the character's looks and clothing was wonderful and very vivid and the way that you described their personalities was outstanding. Plus the dialogue and the choice of words that they used fitted their personalities perfectly. Good work on that part.
Well, I'm still wondering who the real lead character is (I have a hunch that it's Will) but I would just like to say that you seemed to have struck gold with this Rick character. He's just perfect for the role as "best friend", loyal, helpful, mischievous and caring. Plus, he's a complete contradiction to Will's character - an always sure recipe for a great tandem. I could just imagining what kinds of funny situations they might fall into because of Mr. Confidence.
Adam's also kinda interesting. The sudden change that he went through near the end was a big surprise. At the beginning, I thought that he, Steve, Will and Rick were the best of friends... but I guess I was wrong... ). But I find him very much out of place with the group now that they're transported into another world. I foresee that the two boys and the two girls are likely to be paired up in the future. That leaves Adam alone by himself. Hm... interesting... I wonder what you have planned for him.
I guess you could've allotted more space in describing the two other girls (Jenny and Nicole) since you seemed to have done a wonderful job with the three boys. They didn't make as much impact to the beginning unlike the rest. At some points I even thought that they were just extras. But I guess you're reserving that for latter chappies, right?)
There are some spelling mistakes here and there but that's nothing a little proofreading could fix and I think it didn't really ruin the reading experience. I think there was a part where you were supposed to use "a" instead of "and" but I can't seem to find it now. Also, there's that fact that the main formula that you're using (kids transported to another world) has been reused over and over again for many other stories. I'm eager to read the next chapter and see how you differentiate your story from the rest.
Before I go, some clarifications regarding my story. "Shadow of My Sin" is actually the second book in the Six Stand Society Saga. The first one is "The Dark and the Demented" so if you're wondering where the terms Stand and the descriptions of the other characters went... well... it's in the first one. I'm half Tolkienish and half Jordanish regarding the philosophy of reusing descriptions for sequels. I do want a short recap of the characters at the beginning... but I don't want it to be too long and boring. Sorry bout that.
Anyways, a very promising start. I see that you have some other stories there so I'll probably check them out as well in the upcoming days. Until then! )
| Emerald Ember 2/17/04 . chapter 1
hm, very good...interesting...i found your writing purely by accident but it has intrigued me, when i dont have so much homework ill check out some more of it but i don thave time now...okay i noticed several spelling mistakes (i mean like about 10) like where youve spelt "loose" its lose if your talkign about something beign lost, i think perhaps it might be a bit long for one chapter becuase it took along time to read but yeah this is good nonetheless, read through it because in places sentences that you have written dont quite make sense...um yeah thats about it, you have good desription and well developed characters even at this early point in the story...yeah id definately read more if you posted it
| Prodius Chaos Lord 2/1/04 . chapter 1
A great story(so far), very enjoyable. I don't understand why those girls where avoiding Rick and Will but i'm sure i'll find out in the next chapter. The only thing is i think they don't need to go back in time but i'm sure it will make it better so please continue.
| YeuxBrillants 12/16/03 . chapter 1
the story is pretty interesting so far. you just need to correct the grammatical errors and make sure you write in the same tense throughout the entire story
| Sid Hancock 12/14/03 . chapter 1
O_O Dude. Could you continue this? I can't wait to see what happens next! _