|Reviews for No Ordinary Mystery|
| rose 2/1/04 . chapter 1
good start! nice descriptions, but slow down on the dialogue. also edit you work again, and then post your work when you feel like it is 100% perfect, not when you feel like it is good when everyone wants you to update everyday! i like the characters, and i seem to recognize where the names come from too, right lilyqueen7? i like the characters too. not bad for a mystery story, so continue! also the title is suppose to be No Ordinary Mystery, right?
| ZealWarrior 12/15/03 . chapter 1
-Not a bad start really, it has quite a bit of potential to turn out into a good story. There was some nice description and plot elements are starting off quite finely; I'm wondering that if Eugene really was the murderer, and the characters seem like people that would be found in the real world.
-You can make a few easy improvements to really enhance the story: Don't rush with the dialogue. It has to seem real so spend time on making it longer and more detailed. Also, instead of just saying "he said" "she said", try to show how they said it, what their emotions were like, their facial expressions, etc.
-Also, take your time to proof-read; you'd be surprised at how much better a story can sound when you re-read and re-write it a couple of times.
-Most of all, take your time! Never rush. The more detail and original concepts and clever dialogue you can come up with, the better.
-And yes, you should continue the story! Don't stop, it's the only way a writer can get better, whether that writer is a child aspiring to be one, or even a professional authour. You have to keep writing!
-Good start to a promising story, update whenever you can and don't stop writing!