this is good so far.
butter and sugar on bread is extremely nice.. i love it. especially on toasted bread...
back to the story.
you could end the story here, and make the readers assume what happened but that would be gay. So finish this, i want to know what Jeremy has to do with all of this. and upload quickly.. or ill kill you at school.. :)
all in all, great story dorz and keep writing.
exploited (a.k.a. w@+!w@+)

This is really great! I like the idea, and the story seems to be an interesting one. The only problem I can see is that the last two paragraphs move rather fast. You could easily turn them into three longer paragraphs. Description is key.
Great job, I hope to see more!