-claps-
I like this one!
Wow...I was imagining it being sung and for some ODD reason (really) Britney Spears came out...eek...geez I think I have to turn off the radio...bleh

Parts of this is great, and I can really hear a melody to it and think "nifty" and the melody -- like most things -- is a nice little folk-ish/indie style. However, it's a bit fragmented at parts which loses part of the flow that makes songs wonderful, as well as a little wordy at others. Still, I admit I like this better than "The Company of Angels" one. The chorous is great, and with just a little bit of polishing the whole thing could be, too. But I can see it working as a song, which is a great thing to be able to tell through just the words.
Kudos and daisies.
-Jess

Yet another Brilliant one. But I must say you should maybe try to add meter (I can't spell mind you)to some of your poetry. Despite it's lovely.
--bubbles