I find her poem to be neither cliche, nor lacking a sense of layout. I'm lost as to the exact time that poetry became about conforming to rules. I would prefer to sit down to a poem full of emotion and purpose, with an underlaying story, that you're able to make your own - then a poem which is so obviously written by the rules, with no artistic expression nor relating to a persons emotions in any definable way.
I adore this poem Stephannie and I adore you sweet girl *many hugs*
--Ev

Full of raw emotion, a pleasure to read. :)

Very cliche... ful of meloncholy though I guess you wanted to show passion through it, not sentiment. It feels as if you are glad something like this happened to you (I'm writitng it as if based on real event) and at the same time you feel confused and terrified. It is hard to decipher what you really think.
It is more of a letter in poetic format than a poetry in letter format.
If I confused you... I'm sorry.