 Lan-sama 2004-03-04 . chapter 1 Woo. Had I known how interesting this actually was, I would have read it long ago. You did well to touch on all characters early into the prologue, being sure to dive deeper into the main character's mind. Your choice of dialect is easy to comprehend; it is easy to picture the characters saying what they are saying. This is the second time I've read the prologue, and yet it still makes my heart sink. ME! The dark one!! -scowl- I found it... different to use present tense, but I'm not complaining. Looking forward to the future. |
 Chateau D'If 2004-02-22 . chapter 2YAY! NEW CHAPIE! GO KAI-CHAN!
ok then, now that i got that out of my system, please allow me to carry on with the review.
The chapter is very well done, as are most your others (this fic or other fics). i think i liked the first chapter a bit more, but thats only cause a bit more happened in that one.
NOT THAT THATS BAD! believe me! this is a great chapter, and a nice start to the real story (besides the prolouge).
I love how you made this so serious, yet, at the same time, its quite funny, what with the whole bath scene and such. Its humor and angst combined. thats so cool! ^_^
anyhow, the voices are yelling at me again, so i gotta sign off of this. nice work, and update soon! please?!
~Janelle~ |
 Tammy 2004-01-07 . chapter 1 Eh! hehehe. It seems alot shorter when it's on five seperate pages.
i like the way you display the character's emotions (like i've already told you if you were even listening to me in the first place). The death part is sorta cool. Well, not for the character guy maybe, but it was cool. I can definitely say that you do write alot better than I do though. I men even this is sorta corny. :);):)Eh! hehehe. |