I'm sorry, I have no critique, just an understanding : )

oh. nice.

Interesting way to put it. But I suppose I can't relate.

Wow. I love it - the writing flowed brilliantly without distracting you from the images (and what bitter and striking images they are!). I especially like the last line as it just seemed to capture that simplistic and powerless feel of the piece...

i have been going through all of your stuff and i just keep getting more and mroe impressed. you are very talented

Great wording. I love the middle line. Keep it up.

oh...I hardly know what to say...(not that a lack of diction is an uncommon occurance with me). Damn. It's imposing, enchanting with its twisted complexity. Nice.

I love the metallic tang you've given to the poem, and the concept is really cool. It's actually true you know, being bound by commitment, that is. Great work, on the whole. And, btw, thanks for the review.

Oh! How intriguing...I love love the last line. Metallic lust...what a concept to ponder.
~lyv

intriguing, and also disturbing ~ almost has that futuristic inhuman tinge to it, but not quite. interesting and original way to depict love [corrupted]. good parallel with 'metallic' and 'mechanical.' loved the "garden of the jailed lovers" line. awesome work. :)

interesting... but kinda true in a way. coolness. *IT*

That one is cool! SHAZAAM

Very well writen! Keep up the wonderful work! ^-~

A sexual panic attack.
-Jessica

never really had the experience, so i wouldn't know, but i like this haiku. well written, nice metaphors and stuff. good job.