FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| f5chica 2003-12-22 ch 1,  | abuseI think you should nix the punctuation at the end of every line. I don't understand why some are commas and some are periods. I think you even missed a line. A quick grammar note--on the second line, is should probably become are. My favorite part was "My happy face just as blank as those around me." |