 Staring Elf 2008-10-13 . chapter 1I read some of your work but I must say that 'nullified' is the one that I most preferred. The first two lines make a great impact, they give you the feeling of staring into a stranger's eyes and then being conscious of a different universe from that person's point of view.
Thanks for posting
staring elf |
 Mitsunaga 2004-06-15 . chapter 1Very elaborate. Never been any good at using words like that. I'm kind of a minimalist with Haiku. Simple but efficient. Nice job. |
 Kelpylion 2004-05-12 . chapter 1Pure, dizzying, frightening magic.
jeez...too bloody lazy, tired, and/or heat sick to review this properly. Suffice it to say that, while I was reading this, I completely forgot that it's 85 degrees and 99.99% humidity and somehow not raining and it bites. So easy to fall into the little universe of this poem, of this girl's mind. Bloody fascinating. |
 traylin 2004-04-18 . chapter 1 this is truly, truly beautiful |
 Melancholy Butterfly 2004-03-16 . chapter 1This is most definitely a powerful and mesmerizing poem, which left me stunned, taking in each word you used and reflecting upon it with awe. Your word choice is magnificent, eg. "magnifying a locked reality", "nullified eros in abstract violence" and I like you use of metaphors. It is interesting how you turned a topic, one in which most people fear or simply don't understand to empathise, and turn it into something so capitivating and beautiful. |
 bach-player 2004-03-06 . chapter 1i loved this poem! i have a daughter who is schizophrenic and every word had meaning for me! wonderful use of language! "locked reality ", "nullified eros, in abstract violence", "last prayers of a dying star"...i found these phrases to be especially powerful! |
 JuniperSky 2004-02-01 . chapter 1Excuse me while I go find my dictionary... ;)
Actuly I liked it.
JS |
 Free-Writer 2004-01-24 . chapter 1This is wonderful...I didnt understand it at first but after a while I think I get it. I really like the last two lines. |
 Plato's Optic Runaway 2004-01-21 . chapter 1Mesmerizing. You most undisputably have an unsettling knowledge of the human psyche, and you have a shockingly intuitive ability to manifest it in such splendor. I loved the reference to Eros; wonderful touch there. Have you ever read "The Eden Express" by Mark Voneggut? I'd highly suggest it, you writing like this. Anyway, superb. |
 Jessica (Daisy Dead Petals. . .) 2004-01-15 . chapter 1 Wow. "her mind is pretty." I liked that line. And your use of language here is amazing. Such pretty and underused words that came together so easily. And I like the dying star metaphor- ever heard of AFI? Their lyrics have lots of those types of metaphors in it. . .the only thing I could find wrong is a typo. Brilliant.
-Jess |
 Psycho-kyugurl 2004-01-13 . chapter 1It reminds me of someone I once knew...the feeling is just there, it left me speechless...An awesome art this is. |
 godawful teen-angst poetry 2004-01-11 . chapter 1Ah...every line of this is amazing amzing. Can I even pick a favorite?? No. So I'm taking the easy way out and just adding the whole thing to my favorites list. God, if this is what you call "writer's block"...
~lyv
p.s.
the answer was weekend. Yeah it was basically impossible. But made sense to me...^^ |
 The Assassin's Shadow 2004-01-11 . chapter 1That's cool that you portray her as beautiful. I'm bipolar and people tend to think of me as a freak. That is actually my nickname in school...it amuses me. |
 Kiryuu-500 2004-01-11 . chapter 1nice poem. i like it. |
 YesIAmKanthak 2004-01-09 . chapter 1Great poem. I can't really say anything else. I'm pretty bad with words. Once again, awesome job. |