FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Morcar 2004-01-13 ch 1,   | I'd be cautious about describing something as a "new form of poetry". This sort of thing *has* been done before, I assure you (it may even have a name, as a physicist I'm ill qualified to say). Furthermore if you're going to pick a word to repeat at the start of every line you may want to pick something more challenging than "The". . Onto the actual poem then. You probably mean "scraping" of the chair, not scrapping (as in the turning to scrap". The "silent scream heard around the room" is both an oxymoron and a cliche. . As an attempt at playing with the structure of poetry this is simplistic but a nice enough excercise. May I suggest that next time, however, you pick a word with more than one meaning ("set" is particularly good) |
| borderline-bipolar 2004-01-13 ch 1, | I like it but it's really sad. I think you dealt with this subject well. |