i find your story intriging in that it seems unique from others that revolve around this concept (by this i mean the whole vampires and such). if you are to write more, which i can only assume to be a negative since it has been ages since it was written, but in any case, if you push forward with it, i think it could evolve into a very inticite novella or such, though the plot line discussed in the summary reminded me of the movie underworld, but from your first chapter you have changed my mind. i encourage you to pick up from where you left off, i'm sure by now your Lia is miserable down to her soul lying in the darkened night for almost a year.on another note; i liked most of your poems, i found i could relate to them in the simplicity of teenage angst, the yearning of the heart, and the morbid thoughts that can creep up upon a person unnoticed, i'm reviewing here b/c i'm too lazy to review everywhere else. so... yeah.if you write more, show me some of the stuff in class.~Ariana (girl you practice defense with pressure points and such in creative writing)

hey, thats good, I think you should continue, if you get the chance. This could become a very good story.
~Diane

let me first say that oyu are now one of my fav authors after reading your work. if you ever stopped the world would be losing out. the only thing i would change is that i wish oyu could write more. it flowed perfectly together.

First, my advice: I'd separate the voices of the two men apart from the rest of the paragraph. It slows down the movement of the story slightly, and cuts down the difficulty that comes with trying to read print on a computer screen.
Don't worry about how much you write- this chapter has enough beneath the surface to capture anyone's attention! I know you have an awesome idea and would love for you to continue this.
Lion Rose ^_^
Thank you for your reviews!