   Jeweled Knife 2004-04-30 . chapter 13*rubs eyes*
Well! I have read this whole thing in one sitting. Yeah, i can't believe it either. It's extremely hard to do such a thing with stories, trust me. How I got through this one, I may never know.
Or maybe I do. The tiny fact that: it was pretty good. ^^
Where should I start? You have a nice cast of main characters!
Jacques sounds very caring, though his hobby...*cough* is it just me, or am I a little slow? Cause i think i know what it is...but i'm not sure. Did anyone say anything about it? *whines, throws tantrum* I wanna know! But if i think it's what i think it is (wow, confusing...) then i DO NO wanna know. But he is very kind towards Quinn and he seems to be a good person in general. Pretty much.
Roscoe: She’s just cool. No other words needed.
Quinn: Is so very shy. O.O He seems extremely adorable (he reminds me of a black guy that i know ^^ Cuteness!) I think it's cute, the whole Quinn having a crush (or is it more now? I can't really tell) on Jacques in the beginning. I also like the fact that you made Quinn Black and Jacques Asian, one because it shows very different diversities/backgrounds (which I always like to look for in stories, but sometimes I end up disappointed) two because it reminds me of two of my friends ^^ *dances*
Oliver: ooh, tough cute, not really full on the big ego department, nice, has a dirty mouth but what can I say? I lubb him. THOUGH...he could tone down o the drama with him and Jade...even if it is funny...heehee straight from a soap opera.
Jade: I normally don't like many girls in stories, mainly because I always find some way that they annoy me. Not that I’m saying that sometimes Jade doesn’t annoy me, but she really hasn’t that much. Very little actually, except when she gets gushy with Oliver….but that’s understandable. She’s pretty cool and can defend herself! Woosh! Go her!
Jason: *huggles him* aw, I kinda feel sorry for him…part of me wishes that Oliver felt the same way, but then I can tell that Oliver seems to be in love with Jade. A whole lot. Hmm, I wonder what Is going to happen? Anyway, Jason is fine, he sounds pretty cute! I can’t say very much about him though since he hasn’t been a major major character for long, but hopefully he’ll stay a major character!
You’re plot is actually interesting, though a bit confusing at times. But many plots do become confusing. It’s originality is moderate. I have read stories that have the “whole dreams connecting to some other place” before, but I like how you’re making the plot into your own. And you have a good cast of characters to make it better.
I think the Principal is creepy! *hides from him* soo scaawy! Does he have some kinda split personality or something? *blinks*
Grammar/Spelling seem to be in check, there are a few mistakes but nothing that a quick revision couldn’t fix.
What else? Nothing else really. You’re writing style is nice, it kept me reading. There were a few bore spots but ever story has them, they’re good for toning down the story after some really big action-y (lol wonderful grammar, I know) scene happens. Woosh!
So, continue please, I’d like to know what happens next of course!
Adios!
~(Serenity)~ |
 newtypeshadow 2004-02-23 . chapter 9ooh, was tres interesting! i love watching/reading/hearing the evolution of stories. i always wonder how authors got ideas for things, what they originally thought they were going to write, how characters changed, etc. like history of the imagination. (why not? we've got world, country, language, etc., so why not stories as well?)
i wish more authors did this.
as to not reviewing...*cringe* i've gotten into the habit of reading selfishly. i've been reading 'purple butterflies' and 'ethereal' religiously.(also had my cousin explain the sexiness of b2k. woah.) missed a chapter of 'falling apart,' then went to texas and missed a lot more. never caught up. so, there am i. i'll be better about reviewing! *is repentant*
ps. midnight sun? -really- cool name. *grin* |
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