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| Ami's Angel 2004-12-13 ch 1, | Very powerful. To open a novel with such a powerful scene can instantly draw in anyone who reads it to see where things will go from here. I was very moved and felt like I was right in the room. Very good. |
| Sage Valkisco 2004-04-18 ch 3, | I loved it...Do the songs inspire the story or do you write the story and then put the song with it? |
| borderline-mary 2004-01-30 ch 2, | This is a really interesting perspective shot. I enjoyed how not much actually happened, but you described her emotional state very well, and the thought process that went with it was very raw and realistic. You do have a bit of an issue with grammar (mainly past tense vs. present tense), but otherwise your grammar is better than most on FP.Com. ^^ I'm going to have to sit down and read 'The Infernal' soon; if this is a side shot to it, I'd love to know the backstory. Keep it up! And if you ever need a proofreader, just give me a ring, sweetie! |
| Josh 2004-01-22 ch 2, | oh ny wat a wonder ful but sad story it brought tears to my eyes and wat a way to bring out the true meaning of a song. I realy found nothing wrong eith it ecsept the grandma part i couldnt ell who was talking but other then that is was a wonder full story that ill tell my friend to reaf absolutly wnoderful! sincserly yugioh15dude ;) |
| Zhane 2004-01-22 ch 2, | oh, Asher-baby... you've got me. Hon, this is beautiful; after 5 (6?) years of writing and creating these Infernal characters, you've finally found A.J.'s center - wow. This is a wonderful piece - I like her stream of consciousness thinking and her desperation; you really bring it forward and make yourself heard. Fantastic work, Asher. Just fantastic. |