Reviews for Jasmine and a Shroud

aleppine
2004-01-27
ch 1,

abuseI haven't been to read you in a long while. Hecticness of it all. Thank you for that last review you left me. I received it on what had been a very low day, and it came like a little light in the dark. : )
I saw 'jasmine' and had to read this one first right off. I am obsessed with white jasmines. God they smell like heaven.
And DAMN that was good!
'tender bod' ... that was so fitting.
I love the style of this; it's different to what I remember of your earlier works. And the rhyme works so well. Some of the metaphors really struck me - they used the simplest forms and comparisons, some of them very familiar and obvious, yet seemed unique and were flawless. Things like
'hapless as a star without its sheen'
'as a pane of glass
Looked through but never seen'
'in silence,
As sunlight through a cloud'
I thought the inclusion of shroud odd, but in that strangely poetic and lovely way, coupled with jasmine.
Really great poem, dude. I enjoyed that.

glitterjewele
2004-01-26
ch 1,

abuseinteresting, and pretty. it captures the moment well. nice work. :)

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