This story was filled with astoundingly beautiful imagery and the flow was lovely. However, do not change from 1st POV to 3rd POV. I know you don't mean it to be but it is confusing. Oh, and "with in" should be "within" (See end of second paragraph) Other then that, it was a very well writen story and ver orginal if I might add. Nice work.
Keep writing.
-Seras Nova