FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| searchlight 2006-05-16 ch 1,  | abuseI absolutely love this poem. The title caught me, but the words held me. Wonderful job. -searchlight |
| Fmog 2005-12-14 ch 1, | abuseI like the simplistic essence of this poem. I would like to see more descriptions of the planets, and have it tie in more to the poem. I see that it is linked through Mercury, Pluto and Jupiter, but it still is lacking that one link of a connection, considering that mercury is also an element. I like it, though. I'd love to see a revised version of this. Good job. -Suchikri |
| Fireeye Howlsong Rainpelt 2005-09-26 ch 1, | abuseGood, emotion-filled piece. Not much flow or rhyme, but that seems to work in this one. I like it a lot. Keep writing; keep it up! |
| Whatever-I-Say 2004-12-18 ch 1, | abuseWow...very powerful poem. I love it...keep writing! |
| QueenOfTheUniverse 2004-11-10 ch 1, | abuseOMG! That was awesome! Especially loved the ending! Nice! Keep up the awesome work! -QOTU |
| Starkitty 2004-10-21 ch 1, anon. | abusenice a few of the lines represent the emotional turmoil within me now. Keep it up |
| scudcrow 2004-10-10 ch 1, | abuseI hope others also see the connection between using something as distant and "detached" (should you choose to personify it) as Mercury in the poem. A wise decision that must be commended! |
| moonvine 2004-09-30 ch 1, | abuseYou are really good and you have talent. i also liked your diography. i noticed that you have feelings when you are writing and i would like to compliment you with that. don't let anything stand in your way of faith- moonvine. |
| Violet Kitsune 2004-07-18 ch 1, | abuseThis is so beautiful. Your descriptions are so detailed. I love it. Some day I hope to become as good of a writer as you. Truly wonderful. Keep writing! |
| forgottenmoon831 2004-07-02 ch 1, | abuseWhoa, very powerful indeed. Good angst and I especially loved the last stanza, and the last line! Keep on! |
| the-number-4 2004-06-02 ch 1, | abusecool poem and expressed well |
| Zoiqu-Msyjji 2004-06-01 ch 1, | abuseSad. Very sad. *tear* |
| Linnet 2004-05-23 ch 1, | abuseWow--this is very powerful. I don't know what to say without lapsing into the cliche things, but this was really very powerful. I especially liked the two last stanzas-definitely my favorite. I've read your bio. You're a hardcore Christian? That's cool. I'm not myself, but I am a "hardcore" (that's not quite how I would describe it, but I can't think of a better word) Muslim, and I also respect other faiths. Sometimes it's crazy how intolerant some people are. -Linnet |
| Jennacharm 2004-05-15 ch 1, | abuseI like your imagery of mercury tears, and how that relates to the planets in the third stanza. I also really like your ending. The bullets are really good too. Good work. - Jennacharm |
| Needa S 2004-05-15 ch 1, | abuseWow... Need I say more, sure Excellent piece! Needa S. |