This is very good, actually. The story is saying something - a lot, actually - in a relatively short amount of words.
The only mistake that I really had to stop for was in the paragraph starting with '*He* was the evil one':
You say, near the end of the paragraph, '..they forget you: you meld...'
fist of all, shouldn't it be melt?
second, the sentence just seems a bit off. I'd suggest '...they forget you, because you melt...' instead.
~Valken (valken.deviantart.com)

Film Noir... and a half a sliver of sight. This story reminds me -most- of allegory, and I realize it as a train-of-thought-symbolic story. What I can say is that it's both vague and seemingly -seemingly, mind ye- pointless in it's 'crumbliness', but the end message really is that 'it exists, that's all that matters'. It -also- reminds me of the movie "Chicago". Interesting, the blend of things that you throw together to create a story... a movie, an event, a couple of symbolic people, and *poof*. Interesting...