yay for bloodlily! neat poem! good job conveying thoughts in a descriptive and entertaining manner. my favorite lines were "With the fractured earth below us/Punctured sky above us." i love lines like that. it's a great example of a line i've never read before. it's difficult for a poet to fill every line of her poem with wording/phrasing/metaphors that the reader has never seen before, but it really pays off. kind of like bob dylan. he hated and almost completely refrained from using cliche phrases and cliche phrases are bright red flags for corny, unimaginative poetry. i can see you are not one of those poets! excellent!