I love how descriptive you are with this one. I can almost see myself there, watching what's going on. The poem is also really good and triggers a lot of emotion. It's also very touching and has a great message. Good job! YAY! =)

Oh, please. "The veteran. The veteran. The veteran's buddy. The veteran's buddy." Pronouns, please.
I'm sorry, but this just doesn't work for me. The character is flat, the moving bits aren't phrased well enough to be moving - frankly, it's just plain dull.
Please try to improve the quality of your own work before flaming that of those who are better than you.

This is deep, something that properly captures the trauma and tragedy of true war.

i like it!! you are so good at writing..if you keep it up, maybe one of these days you can get published huh? anyways i really enjoy opening my mailbox and seeing that you have new stories or chapters. its like the only things i read, and i hate reading..take it as a compliment.

Wow. ok how many reviews is this tonite?
ok well for being a first poem...man its great, and i still don't like yyou ;)...yup, but the poem is wonderful babe! keep it up, and let me know wen more gets posted!
pepper

SWEET! I can review my own story. Well, I like my story. I think it is good. It gives me shivers down my spine everytime I read it