I really like this, and the disjointedness works cos that's kinda how you feel after a (good) first kiss, dreamy and unconnected. Write more!

Oh wow, girl, this type of poetry never ever fails to amaze me. You wrote it so beautifully, that I had to smile, thinking back to the days of my naive small little crush on this loser. Anyway, I love your writing, so you've got to write more! More! Love, Ruzz

I love te whole comparison to butterfly wings. Love can feel like that. I love it. Well done.

It works fine. Cute and gives nice mental images. P.S. If you've got the time, can you check out my stories and give them reviews? ^_^

A very interesting poem, that leaves the reader with a fluttering feeling in the stomach. :-)!

I truely love this poem and how you have captured the moment, well done a super poem
Could you have a look at some of my work and tell me what you think?
Thanks Sinserely Maria