Beautiful...absolutly beautiful.

I hope whomever you wrote this about recieved a copy...it's almost a desire or a wish.

Delightful. Thanks for making me smile today.

very good! weird how short few sentences can evoke such images to the mind. :O)
review me if you're free!
=summerdazed=

Wow, that was cool. Really...evil. It was so...atmospheric (Ew. Bad word to use in a review...sorry!) too.

Beautiful tanka...

This was beautiful. Awesome metaphors and wordings.

O_O this has such a feeling! I dunno what it is but its lovely...
...anon...

kool description and i like it damn much and the ending is very perfect nice flow

Wow.. this is beautiful! I really enjoyed your word usage in this. A brilliant piece!
~ CoolBeans18s

ver-ry nice indeed. what i liked the most about this was that you put together your lines in a way which told of a bigger story which you could imagine...you gave all the essential parts so that the imagination could wander, so restriction.
i loved the last 2 lines "Your soul shall free-fall/Into the clutches of mine." very lovely, very tender.
great work, kudos!

Wow very nice. I like the kind of waiting, stalking feel it has to it. Creepy but cool. i take it from your summary this is not the correct form? What is then, I forget. Oh, and great job, as usual. ;)

OOh. Very nice. This begins and ends so perfectly. It finishes, I feel, right where it should. Lol. I keep reading it outloud over and over again. One thing, "You soul shall free-fall" do yo mean "Your soul..."? Hm. Heh heh, when I saw the title "Dream Schism" it reminded me of the band Tool and the song "Schism". Just thought I would mention that..for...some reason 0_o Right, I'm going now. Awesome piece again.
--
Writing rules! So write on you!
--
Jess 0:o)

Wow, awesome poem and beautifully written.
*Seeing Starz*

ooh nice. it's so short and poignant. and it's not cliche or angsty! {8-D) and i love the word endeavor. it is so much better than the overused vocabulary that a lot of poets here use. i shall now check out the rest of your gallery! ~nefaria18