It painted a good picture in my head. Some of the sentences you dont really need periods for. Just use a comma and combine some of them. A lovely piece though. Keep writing.

great poem. reminds me of a certain chapter in a book i read "the hidden world" and of parts of my own story. are you sentences supposed to be like that together or is each one supposed to be on their own seperate line? just wondering because sometimes when you upload your poems, the uploading process messes up the spaces. anyways, good!