 Hershey249 2005-03-15 . chapter 1Wow, you just keep writing these poems that sound like they were meant for music. Nifty rhyme scheme, I like it when people vary it up a little. I'm seeing a trend here, you're really good at painting a picture with a few words. I could see the whole thing happen. The irony at the end is a nice touch also, implying that there are worse things than being lonely.
Think you might want to put an apostrophe in that "can't" there, but other than that, it looks clean grammar-wise. Me likies. :) |