FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Frodo13 2005-04-27 ch 1,   | wow, you are truly a gifted writer. great writing. |
2004-06-25 ch 1, | Steen? Is it you? guadalupe sr.? |
| JJR Meerraf 2004-06-12 ch 1, | Brilliant, great work my friend! I was kind of sucked into it since the beginning. |
| Wasted Postage 2004-02-15 ch 1, | *huggles you* YOUR BACK YOUR BACK YOUR BACK! It just isn't the same without you! *dances* YAY! Oh yeah, great poem! I don't mind that you used a line from Shel Silverstein, and I'm sure he doesn't mind anyway, he is after all, dead. Excellent work! ~*~AbunaiChikara |
| Deadwind 2004-02-14 ch 1, | Yay Beany! This is awesome, and why were you talking about being rusty? I'll make you rusty! :waters the now iron-clad Beany: |
| Children of the Root 2004-02-10 ch 1, | I love it, beany! This is definitly one of my favorites of yours. I can really relate. |
| godawful teen-angst poetry 2004-02-07 ch 1, | I actually like that you used the Shel Silverstein--it seems like a deeper, darker version of something innocent from childhood. Which is always good, at least in my book. Nice to have you back! ~lyv |
| Kelpylion 2004-02-07 ch 1, | Ah, simple but eloquently-put angst. Ryhme and meter definitely accentuate the whole tone here. Lots of nifty metaphors, but sadly no really intense imagery. (Just because I'm fond of picture-poems, not because every poem needs emotional pictures to be perfect.) One teensy nitpick: I think you meant 'running past' rather than 'running passed.'(little things. They irk me.) |
| Knight of Tarian 2004-02-07 ch 1, | Neat poem. And it rhymes too! Keep up the good work! ~Knight |
| Lady B.V Rose 2004-02-07 ch 1, | WOW! 0_0 CoolBeans what a way to return! Brilliance! Sheer Brilliance! - Dai Dai xx |
| Mime 2004-02-06 ch 1, | *delighted gasp* Beans, you're back! *hugs* We've missed you! ^_^ This is a thoroughly enjoyable poem. The emotions captured are strong and bittersweet, just the way I like them, and the rhyming, flow, and such are perfect. Wonderful, wonderful, job, and post more soon, okay? ^_~ |
| obsidian katana 2004-02-06 ch 1, | wonderful poem! you haven't posted in a while. it's good to see you back. anyway, i love this a lot. great rhyming and rhythm, this piece has a good flow to it overall. well written, nice bit of angst. great job. keep writing! |