Aw this was nice, I sort of like the shortness of the chapter, I like the way Max talks and the way you described the slave master guy. It might help to maybe describe her life as a slave to help understand why Max feels bad for her etc.

-Lorki

A good start. I love Max, hes so cute!! :)

Very interesting storyline you have here! Can't wait to see what happens next. Write more! =^_^=

Instead of introducing Maxwell in the first paragraph as the mote who likes to get drunk and watch girls, have him explain that to Rat as his introduction to her.

^_^ it has some weird parts, some funny parts, but it's humour ain't it? haha! continue continue~

hmm... must be a coming trend for characters to be named after animals huh? ^^ no that its bad. quite a short chapter though

Hee hee...I like it. A lot. Max is funny. Kind of ecletic, but very amusing. This is a really interesting story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. Update! Please...?

This is very amusing! I like it a lot; it will be very interesting to see how the plot develops. The characters are very well-created, and the story flows well. Please update soon!