Personally, I feel that you have kinda overused adverbs. Nevertheless, this is a lovely chapter. :)

I really hope you chose to update this story! I really want to see things become right between Tarell and Mary. It was just getting interesting, you can't stop it there! I'm literally pouting here, please!

Update please its a great story and is probaly one the my first stories I read on fictionpress and would really like to see it completed.

That was REALLY good!

sunflowersing

Some parts of this are not quite right, so you will need to rewrite for accuracy. Other than that, your story is coming along well. The next chapters should be quite hot!

Wow this is simply an amazing story. Your portrayal of the characters emotions are so life-like it's simply stunning. And the progression of the plot is kept at just the right pace to hold any readers curiosity. Keep up the excellent writing!

great story,this is getting really sad...will he end up with sara or mary? i hope sara will get her heart's wish...update soon

cool update. please write more.

Cool story. Got to read more.

i like i like! more soon please!
-THE RANDOM CRITIC-

Great story, hope you update soon!

Great story keep it up.

Wow. Can I leave it at that? I love your writing, it's that simple.

please continue with this... and would u email me when u update? my addy is Dark_Princess786@msn.com
thanx!
-THE RANDOM CRITIC-