Whoa! AWESOME! The beginning meandered a bit, but then the poem really got going. I love the "night girl" idea. Very nice!

TOTALLY INSPIRED!
GET READY FOR A NEXT STORY!
(just wonderin is this a girl on girl relationship, kinda sounds like it)

you explain alot by useing words that are descriptive to the idea your writing about it helps u imagine what you want the readers to see

Wow, your work has really improved here! Less typos, and, well, everything is much better! Cool! I am happy to see this! This seems to be a very deep poem, you really had something important to say here! I hope the telling helped you, if only a little.
::claps:: good job!

Woah... that was so deep! The "we raped me" line was an incredible unexpected twist. That was amazing!