Very very interesting! A little slow paced, but the imagery is awesome. You should definately continue.

this is great
i didnt know that u did this. this story is awsome
the old dude kinda creeps me out n u should definatly keep it up
much luv
pe@ce

great story. I would of never been able to predict the ending. Your vocabulary within the story was spectacular. Congrats! Keep on writing! Can you review me?