Your vocabulary words precisely capture the mood. I'm eager to hear this girl's journey!

good beginning. continue the story. I think it has potential to become a good one.
-Ducky-

Nice Sis. But that was the same thing you had me read before. Why not try to expand on it?

I must say, the idea for this story is a great one! In my humble opinion you should further the story. You can make this already scary short story into a truly disturbing one with just a few more paragraphs.

Jorie, i know that you want some reviews, so here is one... though this story is very well written it is quite disturbing!