*searches around* Nope...I don't see any cliches or anything that's overdone...not to insult the magazine person or anything, but GEEZ, they must be really picky to criticize this...
~~Okies, now. I've got to apologize again for how dismissive I was of this story when you first showed it to me. I can't say sorry enough. >_< I was just stupid, and more than a little jealous of your writing abilities, of course. But now that I've HOPEFULLY gained a little bit more maturity, and reread this story, I can say that it is truly, amazingly, perfectly fantastic.
~~It's beautiful. The emotion. I have a feeling that you put a lot of yourself into it, and I realize how badly it must've hurt when I didn't say anything about it. I hope this makes up for it, a little, at least.
~~I love this story. It's amazing.

Wow. What an incredibly gripping story. It wasn't until I read the last line that I realized I'd been holding my breath. Sad ending, but good though. Great work!

That was pretty freaky. Wonderfully written and very dramatic and tragic. I could feel this kind of strange numbness as I read the story, like the store was generating it. Reminds me minutely of One Hour Photo for obvious reasons. This was a nice treat. Awesome job.