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EWW! He sounds gross!

Nice start! It really drew me in!

great story keep it up i like your idea

GAH! why would u do this to me? it is so damn good it can't be ovver!

the only thing missing was greater character developement for evan...but beleive me i know how hard that is, so i overlooked it :)

jeez i hope my story can keep people glued to it like urs does. i will be starting it soon, and would appreciate ur comments because i think ur fantastic ;D

ok, so i loved this chapter except u r right i would have protested more too. i like that u showed her pain, too many vampire stories are just like "and then she was magically all better" lol

i really hated that u made his hair that ridiculously lonog, but hey, this is ur stor, and if that's the way u want him, that's the way he'll be ;)

ugh i am excited to start writing, but it won't let me for aother day :0

great story so far, i am excited to read the rest to see what happens next. u have wonderful descriptions, i can see it all.

alright sorry for the double comments and i see that you havent updated in a while but i thought i would give you some ideas for a part 2 if you are still interested.

-i would like to know what kevin does and mb have him play a role, maybe laura starts to have feelings for him because he obviously has feelings for her

-where do evan and laura go? how is their relationship after they leave?

-how are vampires made? will he turn her or will he just stay with her until she dies?

-maybe evan has some old scores to settle and laura gets caught up in the middle of it

um..thats all i can think about for now but message me if you have any questions and maybe we can brainstorm for this because i would be really excited to read more about this story

hey ok well first of all i loved the story. i think you did a great job with detail and explanations and i like your take on vampires and them not killing and all. i think that first of all you should go back through this story and run the last chapter or two out a little. i get that it was for school but there is nothing stopping you from fixing it now. i wouldnt have laura admit her love at first. i think she should feel like she doesnt want to trap evan and then be confused about this and then realized it slowly. then just drag out the leaving part and maybe actually show her talking to kevin, like i said just stretch it a little because the ending felt rushed. thats all for now!

Heather

This story was awesome! I really loved it :) and it takes me alot to say that about a story i've read on fictionpress. But yours was awesome! Hope you write the second part soon.

wicked awesome... For a school assigment this was good. It was original for a vamp story..

*claps* brilliant,just brilliant, it was done like an expert have done a fantastic job you should be it was a good ending yay she didnt end up with kevin double yay (i also suck at spelling) _ i cant wait to read more of your work keep it up

Awesome story! Would have been even better if u went into detail : )

This is great!I like this story so much!I'm a fan of vampires :) Maybe Evan was in love with the deceased woman? I guess I'll have to wait.. :) Congratulations!

o, write part 2 please!
-becca-

You have to write more... I loved the story but thought it should be longer... i want to know what happens now that they are leaving... Is Keven going to get better and come after them or something... please write more and tell me when youll have it... PLEASE