|Reviews for The 100 Club|
| minarai 5/16/04 . chapter 4
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't like your writing stlye. If everyone had the same style it wouldn't really be style anymore. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the density might be the problem. If you look at a piece of yours like "Even if I'm Blind" (which I love by the way), you use adverbs and adjectives, but you place more emphasis on using active verbs.
| Amethyst Horizon 5/15/04 . chapter 7
wonderful! i especially love the last sentence!
| Amethyst Horizon 5/15/04 . chapter 6
great imagery! i really like this one!
| Amethyst Horizon 5/15/04 . chapter 5
this is so beautiful! *Tear*...i really love your reference to Van Gough! very wonderful!
| Amethyst Horizon 5/15/04 . chapter 4
cute, very romantic! i like it!
| Amethyst Horizon 5/15/04 . chapter 3
? is this about golf? i think it is, but i'm not sure, although judging from your name, i think it is. it's good...i don't know much about golf, but i like the poem.
| Amethyst Horizon 5/15/04 . chapter 2
Awesome! it almost felt like i was there! don't you love it when it goes right where you want it to? lol!
| EchoesOfReason 3/17/04 . chapter 6
Whoa, sorry I didn't get to this earlier, it's GREAT! Very descriptive yet said so simply, I like it! Great job, take care and good luck. Sorry, I'd love to make the review longer like I normally would but I have a lot of catching up to do.
| EchoesOfReason 3/4/04 . chapter 5
This makes for great practice for when you decide to write a third person story you know that? Even for 'Ross and I' this makes great practice! Prose is a very important detail in stories and I think you've done a VERY good job in this! Some parts of it are quite vague, and this is just me being honest so please don't be mad. Just some parts are a little vauge in areas other than that though, this is great and has a lot of potential! Keep up the great work, take care, and good luck!
| charliegirl2 should really start an account here 3/3/04 . chapter 5
I think the descriptions are lovely. I do, however, have some constructive crticism:
Your sentence structure here seems to have been carried over from poetry, where there is no real need for clear sentences.
When you say, "glow; lit so little..." Right here, if you use a semicolon, you have to make the bit after the semicolon a complete thought. So if you said "glow; the room was lit so little to..." it would sound more correct.
"I was returned by the waiter." Perhaps "The waiter returned to our table".
"The main course, an immaculate presentation, to consume this culinary masterpiece would be like..." This is run-on. Perhaps "The main course was an immaculate presentation; to consume this culinary masterpiece would be like..." would sound more correct.
And last, I must apologize if I offended you in any way; I was trying to help, and I hope I did.
These were very nice descriptions. I have an idea (take it or leave it): Maybe you could describe what the person was gazing at, and exactly what kind of immaculate food was included in the main course. I don't know. That's my style of writing, so there you go.