*mumbles about having to login*
Are you going to update? I like the flow, that's always a thing I like to find...find the flow...sink into it...like the story...has it sound good ect, ect. The lil' intro ish before you go into about the girl is cool too, doesn't jump right into it. Kwe ^^

This is excellent--you were right, it's even better than before. There are a few typos, but the narration is very fluid and builds nicely. I can't see much i would want to change, though... hm... The culture shock sentence can be sort of confusing. That's about it, hehe.
Keep going, i like!
All my love,
~Adrian ^^

nice touch. sums up everything that you wrote before