Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Sidewalk
Aunt of the author 2004-03-06 . chapter 1
I am not comfortable with this unshaded good/bad guy format. I don't think the fact that someone on the other end is in a "cushy" chair is convincing me that this guy has earned a violent punch. Maybe something that is a little more of a clever put down and less violent. Maybe the musician and some of the people in the crowd might be non-violent. There are a lot us you know.
Maybe a little redemption on the part of "the suit" would work. This leaves me feeling empty and pointless. The descriptions are fabulous!
Return to Top