Lance: Blarghnn snirftle blathitsig neef.
Shotaro: Translation: I wouldn't expect any less from... popsicle?
Lance: ...neef...NEEF!!
Shotaro:...oh! I wouldn't expect any less from you.
Lance: Hyurn ghet suetn jyanglyah.
Shotaro: Your earlobes are as entertaining as ever.
Lance: -leer-
Shotaro: ...uh. Oh. Your ANTICS are as entertaining as ever.
Lance: Blah.
Shotaro: I am going to... stab... Sho... o.o Oh my.

What an upset, whoo! Well done, I liked that.

Not my favourite chapter so far. Iaeruki's stubbornness is stereotypical of nobility in fantasy, not that that doesn't have it's place.

Really getting a feel for your characters, and also for the overall menace and bestial nature of Nikumu.

I love the idea if Nikumu, the corrupted, ancient guardian. I'm wondering what happened to Iaeruki, though. Looking forward to more!

Deie: Liberation in Insanity. Clever. I was almost convinced Iaeruki would have fallen long back, and somehow I can't picture him laughing. Strangely, I am overwhelmed to beleive that such a delicately comprised critter like you could create such intricate movements, even with a character. Imagry, character development, all of utmost interest.
Sybil: ...hey Deie. Where's Lan-sama.
Deie: He's in his 'happy place', trying to come up with a decent plot for ch. 5 of Danmatsuma.
Sybil: You mean that black room with nothing but a candle in it?
Deie: Yep. That happy place.
Sybil: Eesh... I'll just go bother Ruex then.
Deie: ...you do that. Good job Kaidona. - Wanders off somewhere-
~Deie~

Hrm... judging by these reviews of mine, I guess I'm not the only one who thinks that maybe I'm doing it a little too thoroughly... *blink, snerk* Oh well, I have to follow Aikiura's words as closely as I can, and that means that I have to put them through as much indescribably horrid torture as I can. *Idle shrug* Well, off to continue typing up some more of Kokorokizu before I get back to adding to this one.

Lan-sama: Heh... heh... heh heh...bwahahahahahahahahaha - evil laughter continues -
Deie: He means to say he liked the bloody parts.
Ruckora: Aye. That n' the drippy nose'n tearin'. (Yes. The sad parts also)
Flynt: ...tch. I don't suppose she can refrain herself from thoroughly abusing her characters, physically and mentally.
Lan-sama: -snort- Be nice, or I'll have everyone's least favorite ninja become part of a rare sacrificial ritual.
Ruex: OOh! Make it a circumsision ritual!
Flynt: -gulp-
Lan-sama: Back to the review. You did considerably well for an Alternate Universe thingy. Most fall apart on the plot aspect, however you did well. Good girl. -pats-

CHARACTER ABUSE!!
tee. jkjk
great job!
continue.

*does first review dance* W00H! Numero uno! Number one! Yay! (Yeah, and while I'm typing this someone else will beat me to it, I'm sure)
I must say this is most moving. I must have told you before, but I'll say it again, every time I read this it makes me feel about to cry. You've once again melded the emotions, imagery, plot, and character well.
Sometimes I hate you for that. >.<
I've noticed that setting seems to fall to the wayside a bit though... You use a lot of imagery, but not a lot of that is to describe the surroundings, or the time and such. Though, you do talk about the setting in short pieces, and people can guess the rest through what you give, but you describe everything else so well, your lack of setting description sticks out more. When you do decide to describe the setting, you do so magnificently, but you may want to add more.
I love it so far, (and all else that I've read of it) so please post it over here so I might review more. This is a grand story, deserving of much congratulations.
Bai!