Reviews for It Can't Touch Us

Violet M. Aster
2006-04-08
ch 1,

abuseThis one was great. I love the mood you set.

Alexander MacLaren
2004-03-12
ch 1,

abuseThis is a really good story. Unlike a lot of stuff here, it's very creepy, and doesn't resort to old cliches. Well done.
There were a couple of very small technical mistakes:
Kyle looked down at his plate and apologized. He prodded the chicken around his plate with his fork.
"Sorry, mom."
You can leave the bit about the chicken out, or move it so the sentence runs like this:
Kyle prodded the chicken around his plate. 'Sorry, Mom,' he apologised.
There are a few more, but you should pick them up if you re-read it.
This is a really good story. Better than the average around here.

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