Hello!
You know, you really should put disclaimers if your going to put other people's words into your stories. You should have put that the little poem you have tucked in between the paragraphs is actually the song "Blame it on My Youth" by Ann Margret. It's a good way of avoiding law suits and if a disclaimer is there, you're not exactly plagiarizing!
Asides from that and the couple of spelling errors, this fic wasn't too bad. It was quite a nice read and hopefully, since after a quick glance in your bio page told me you were into poetry, you can put into your vignettes one of your own poems.
Good luck and don't forget the disclaimers next time!
~Hellie

*cries* I love this so much! I love all your one chapter emotionals...they're so beautiful. And wonderful to read. yes indeedy. Me a sappy. Actually no i'm easily pleased by most genres... horror, fantasy, human interest..its all good...;p Ps. I'm writing at the moment so don't give up on me!