Hey good job and if I may say just one eentsy thing smallest thing the dialogue is a little fake sounding I would'nt think that would be how some one speaks. Aside from that its okay though a little fast paced. Keep up the good work.

I can't wait for you to update, its a really good story! I like how you've written about child abuse, because it sends the message to people that it is wrong and should be stopped.

Yay an update ^^ I like how the pace is. It's so bittersweet (WHY DO I KEEP USING THAT WORD?). I really like this story so far...please update soon...I hope Shenya's alright...
~Sumi-chan
Bring me to an owaranai yume, and never take me back

I don't see why you didn't continue this story. It was really good, bittersweet (is that the right word?). Anyways, I find the plot great and I like the characterization. The dialogue works, but do you think for the next chapter you can use paragraphs? That's my main critism. Anyways, I hope you continue.
~Sumi-chan
Bring me to an owaranai yume, and never take me back.

*eep*
hope the situation improves, though...

Um, Jade... that's really sad, but do continue!